Christmas Without Grandpa

I hate that we are all going to mark this Christmas that way, but there it is. The strange thing about it is, it didn't feel like he was gone. It may have been that his chair acted as our Christmas tree, presents piled miles high, his photo bearing witness, and then later a huge bear that my mom had gotten my grandmother took the gifts place to occupy the space. Or, it could have been that everyone still had on their best face.

There was still laughter. There were still cousins playing, some older than in years past, some newer.

It could have been the new faces that were present-- ones that don't normally appear during holidays. LJS, for example, actually came to a holiday event. Cousins from thousands of miles away, were there. Our celebrating early might have contributed to the abundance of people, but I think it was more the need for togetherness.

Anyway, although different, in many ways it was the same. There was no tree, which is understandable; there was also no turkey-- or rather, there was, but it was raw. So we had faux turkey in the form of chicken and unbelievably, Grandma was not pulling any of her hair out over it.

I'm so proud of her.

I wish I remembered more from that day that I could share, but most of what I have is in pictures. I remember Mya jumping over LJS's legs over and over again, in a fun game (she's such a doll!). I remember stealing (literally, going downstairs and telling Cat to give my Cari) the happiest baby on earth and bringing her upstairs so that LJS and I could hold her and play with her for awhile-- and I remember being surprised that Short Person was not jealous like she normally is.

You know, as an aside, I was also surprised at LJS's willingness to hold the baby much of the evening. It occurred to me somewhere during this that maybe having had our own, we are now more endeared to small lives because they bring back fun memories of our own. Or maybe, it's that, for a moment you can feel what it was like to have that little life without having to take it home and also remember what it was like when that little life screamed bloody murder as you stood there helpless not knowing what to do to make it stop.

At any rate, both LJS and I were having a nice time holding a happy, smiley baby.

The presents were passed out and I got to watch my mom and step-dad open the ornaments I had worked on, which was fun. I wish I had had more time to complete them, but as it was I had been up until 2:30am wrapping presents and with the help of a friend putting the ribbons on them. I didn't even remember to take a picture of them!

But, I did at least complete the information (or what I could gather) for each brother, sister, nephew, niece and significant others.

We arrived and we left in pouring rain, with me wondering who had given what presents. My vow to attempt transformation into my Grandmother will have to wait one more year-- at least where thank you cards are concerned.