LJS and the Big 4-0

I don't know what to do.

My phantom, make-believe husband-- you know... that guy I talk about a lot, but no one ever seems to see? Well, he is turning 40 at the end of the year and I have no idea how to celebrate it.

As shy as he is, or anti-social, or freaked out by large groups of people, has threatened me with certain death if I throw a party. In clear terms, he doesn't want one.

But, it is his 40th. I can't let it slide without a celebration... can I?

I started thinking that if I were going to throw him a surprise party, I might be able to come out of it alive if it was really low-key. Pizza or burgers. Someplace family-friendly and entertaining. Someplace where he didn't need to feel like the center of attention because there were other attractions.

Unfortunately, with that, there are problems. How to get him there was a big one. I mean, he's going to know something is up if I say, "Hey, we're going out for pizza today and we need to be there at 2pm." Plus, what if I schedule it for Ye Oldes and he wants Abby's? Major relocation crisis.

I thought for awhile about ways that I could get around that, like having a limo pick him up at work (so he has no choice but to get in) and deliver him to a suitable restaurant somewhere near his place of employment... but that, added with food, blows my budget miles out of the water. Even trying it creatively with coupons and gift certificates. Plus, it is so close to New Year's Eve that there is no guarantee that I could get enough people to show up to constitute a party.

So, I changed my mind. Maybe a limo and a nice hotel room in Downtown Portland where we can have lots of sex. I don't see him arguing with that. But then, I've just left out anyone and everyone that might want to celebrate his birthday.

I keep going around and around and around. I keep changing things. Maybe no limo and a hotel with some sort of event. Course, he's not big on events, so even a Blazer game is out of the question. A nice dinner? Well, then people should be able to join us...

And suddenly, you are back at square one. And even if I could get him in the car and to a restaurant, we are back at the budget thing again. Especially now that I've thrown in a hotel for sex in the mix.

So, my question to you is... what do YOU think? Any creative ideas? Any ideas on how to go big on a budget? Is a town car tacky if I cut corners that way? Do you know of a nice hotel that isn't $200 a night? How about a nice one that rents by the hour? (LMAO)

Time is running out for me.