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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Snake and The House that Tape and Twine Built

It seems to me that Murphy's law has no boundaries, but in this event I believe he is working in our favor-- although it may not seem like it at this precise moment.

The bathroom remodel is still a go. The flooring is actually being installed tomorrow, and as soon as it is in LJS will get to work on putting in the new toilet and vanity (new sink and faucet included).

Last night he came up to me. "It's all falling down."

"Huh? What's all falling down?"

"I mean... it's all falling apart."

I could feel my chest tighten in preparation for some sort of heart failure, especially since coming home I realized he'd already taken the vanity and sink out. "What do you mean? The new stuff doesn't work? We have to get different stuff?" I'm calculating the months it took us to gather the few items we needed and thinking about places I could move to in order to ride out the next wave.

"No. Haven't you noticed how everything is falling apart right before I put in the new stuff."

I laughed. Personally, I would rather have it fall apart a day before the new stuff goes in than after. After would be so not good. "What do you mean? Did something else break?"

"Sort of. The toilet won't flush."

I sighed and then laughed. Murphy's law... in sort of a good way. Everything new that we have done to that bathroom recently has made something else go bad. I had someone put up the door... the sink stopped draining. LJS fixed the sink... the toilet stopped working. It's all going downhill. I suspect that they will put in the new floor tomorrow and the shower will fall through it!

Now, that statement might seem implausible. After all, we've already fixed the shower. Had it refinished and put in new hardware. Might seem implausible that is until I tell you that last night, after LJS took out the vanity, we discovered that the floor is made out of... not wood, or brick, or linoleum... but PARTICLE BOARD!! IN A BATHROOM!!!

LOL... you should see our house. When the doorjamb went into the wall, we discovered that the walls are incredibly warped. The jamb is flush on top, flush on the bottom, but in the middle there is about an inch gap. When we took out the vanity, the wall behind it is the same. There is a gap between the floor and the wall. I swear this house was made from tape and twine and by some miracle is still standing.

I will be so glad when this is over... which I pray whole-heartily will be before I get home tomorrow. I had to brush my teeth in the shower today and that's just not right. Toothpaste falling on your tootsies is not a good feeling. It's kinda slimy. Plus, I probably smell like mint from my mouthwash not quite getting spit out far enough. If I have to go home to a bathroom that is not done... it will at worst mean that I have no toilet... That's just not acceptable. I'll have to sleep at work!

Enough grumbling from me.

LJS went to rent a snake to fix the bathroom sink that would not drain. He took Short Person in with him, rented the snake, and then put it in the car.

Short Person asked what the peculiar looking device was and LJS answered "A Snake".

Short Person refused to get into the car.

LOL...

He had to move it to the front seat after a lengthy discussion about how it was not a snake of the warm-blooded kind, but a tool. I'm told it still took some coaxing after that, but finally they made it home.

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