Three Deer, A Mob Boss, and One Movie

This happened over a week ago now. I've actually sat down to write it about... oh, 45 times, but never seem to actually finish. This time, by golly, I'm gonna do it!

There are some days that herald themselves to you the moment you wake up. From the get-go, you know that you are going to have an eventful day.

This was not one of them. When I woke up this morning there were no bells and whistles-- there may have been a snooze button involved, but that's it.

I was fairly excited because after who-knows-how-long I was about to get some much needed training in the field of Microsoft Excel. The training was in Beaverton so, armed with a map, I hopped in the car and went on my merry way.

It never ceases to amaze me that I'm able to forget about idiot drivers, but I do, or road rage, but I do. I forget and then am completely aghast when something occurs that reminds me.

I'm driving a modest *ahem* 65mph along the main road into "the real world" when up ahead I see about 20 cars suddenly putting on their brakes and swerving. There is a van trying to get to the side of the road and I am wondering what is going on and whether the turmoil will have resolved itself before I happen upon the scene.

In my rearview mirror is a fast-approaching truck (you know the kind that will mow you down if you don't get out of their way), but he is the least of my concerns since I'm very quickly approaching the traffic jam ahead. It has not resolved itself and I slam on my brakes to avoid the cars still attempting to brake and swerve.

A momentary thought goes through my head. A wonderment of what all the chaos is about... and then I see it. Three little horny heads bouncing down the embankment just past the guardrail. Three deer had crossed the road in the middle of morning rush hour traffic. The van now on the side of the road was not dented, but I'm guessing the driver was pretty shook up. (Either that, or looking for his rifle since it is hunting season- Jerk.)

By this time, I have forgotten all about the truck behind me, and am now accelerating back to my 65... OKAY 70! mph cruising speed, when all of the sudden he pulls along side me and then right in front of me-- causing me to slam on my brakes because he hadn't bothered to see if he'd actually made it past my car. (It was done on purpose, actually. I spent some time being really grateful that I hadn't been looking at the radio or checking a mirror or reaching for my phone at the time.)

I hit the horn and flipped him off (I do that sometimes), but I don't think it did any good. Oh, and then I got to ride his butt all the way to my turn off because he decided to go about 10mph LESS than what I had been doing. Either that, or he was a dumb ass and didn't realize that other cars inhabited the road and could care less if they got out of his way.

*sigh*

I make it (late) to the meeting center, after a few wrong turns, and walk in. The room is full, of course, but luckily there is a chair next to a really cute guy who seems insistent upon making funny remarks through the lecture. It was great!

The guy up front talking was knowledgeable, but I was laughing because every so often he'd get corrected or questioned by one of the other attendees about an alternative way of doing a certain step. This did not sit well with him. His standard response was, "Well, I've never done it that way! And you shouldn't be able to do it that way!"

When the training broke for lunch, right after the "And for $19.95 you can also get" pitch, which the cute guy had us all cracking up about, I finally got a look at the teacher. OMG! He looked like Guido, the knee-cap guy! He was short and round and had that mob face that you simply couldn't get over. I kept expecting a large figure (the one that actually does the knee-cap thing, not the one that threatens you with it-- which is what the teacher reminded me of) to appear. Never did, thank goodness because he kept getting questions. LOL...

It was not long into the day that I decided Excel is the magical universe of computer programming and whoever created it must be a rich genius!

After the training session, I had a date with my sister at the McMeniman's Kennedy School. They have one of those cool Movie Theatre, Pub, Pizza Joint combo things going on there and we were going to go see "The Nanny Diaries", which I LOVED!

I arrive (after getting horribly, horribly lost-- my brother in law had to bail me out), park in the back, and walk to the front doors. I push. Locked... or stuck. I push. Still nothing.

There is a guy sitting at one of the tables out front studying. He looked like a college student. He looks at me and says, "They should be open." It's about this time that I decided to PULL rather than push and wala! Open.

Yeah, he was laughing pretty hard by then. DORK moment!

Anyway... that was my day. Three Deer, A Mob Boss, and One Movie.

Seemed more eventful when I was thinking about writing it earlier, but I suppose after a week some things got lost in translation.

Oh, like I forgot to mention that I discovered a new sex toy place. LOL... What are the odds?