The Skunk

LJS and I decided to stimulate the economy with our economy stimulus check and bought a new television. I was very happy about this because it meant that I got to move the big screen into my office-- whereby making it almost like a theatre room-- and get rid of the 5-ton console television we've had for awhile.

We pulled the 5-ton tv out and loaded it into the truck to take to Goodwill. To make a long story short, I had called TWICE that day to make sure there would be someone there to unload it. The woman on the other end of the phone assured me that there would be. I drove to the Goodwill to drop it off, only to be told that they did not take them.

Oooo... I was mad. Two phone calls, $15.00 in gas, and they don't take them. I grumbled to LJS via cell phone all the way home!

Anyway, he needed the truck to go fishing the next day, so we had to unload it from the back of the truck. We've made a decision to stick it on the front of our driveway with a "FREE" sign on it. (Worked too! Someone took it home Sunday, thank goodness!)

Given my not so happy status and the fact that I'm dreading hauling this heavy-ass tv anywhere, we procrastinated until about 9:30pm. Well after dark. But we knew we couldn't put it off forever and therefore went trudging out the front door.

LJS was in the lead and he basically barrelled through the door, I was a bit slower, as I was pouting. Anyway, I go out the screen door after him and notice something rustling in the bushes to my left. It struck me as odd because the cat doesn't normally move like this did... and besides, the cat is white. I didn't see anything white.

I stood there for a second, thinking that the movement was just a figment of my imagination. It wasn't. Exactly 2-feet away was a full grown skunk... and he was walking my way!

I jumped off the porch step, gave a little yelp, while attempting to put as much space between me and IT as possible. LJS, hearing the yelp, turned and looked at me.

"What?!" he said in a voice reeking of impatience.

"Skunk! There's a skunk!"

"Where?" He sounds bored and I'm totally peeved by it. So many things are going through my head. My daughter possibly following us out the door-- and by now the skunk would be just inches from her-- the dogs looking out from the big picture window-- they'd bark, so that would be utter disaster-- how my house would smell if the skunk tried to spray them. All of it raced through my head.

LJS is sounding mad now, "I don't see a skunk. Where is it?"

I turn and point. "Honey! RIGHT THERE! By the window!"

LOL... It became a two stooges act. You know the kind, where everyone walks a different direction only to keep walking into the other person? He's walking back toward the house, I'm walking away from it, we are bumping into eachother... as the skunk gets closer and closer, now in between us and the house.

All I can think is how much I want to get inside and lower the blinds so that the dogs don't bark at it!

Finally, the skunk moves parallel to us so that it is across from us and we side-scoot back into the house. I lower the blinds and then run back into the office to get Short Person, who is totally engrossed in a movie she's seen about 324 times.

She finally relents and agrees to come outside, but by now the skunk has disappeared. I turned to the husband...

"Where did it go?" I asked.

"Well, while I was closing the garage, it was heading toward the truck."

Great, I thought. The same truck that had the tv in it. The same tv that had to be unloaded that night.

15 minutes passed.

"Okay, go outside and see if the skunk is gone."

I looked at LJS incredulously. "Why do I have to go look!? You know he's still by the truck, don't you? This is a trick! I'm gonna get sprayed!"

LJS sighed one of those impatient man sighs. "No, I don't know that. I just want you to check."

Seeing as how I basically have no choice but to look, I quietly open the screen door, my eyes more open and round than I can ever remember them being, and peer into the darkness. "I don't see him. You go look!"

LJS, being a man, has gotten way impatient now and is totally over it. He tromps out to the truck with a muttered, "Are you coming?!"

Rolling my eyes, I follow him, just knowing that the noise of us unloading this huge tv is going to get us doused in skunk stink!

The tv makes a tremendously horrid noise coming off of the bed of the truck. Half way off, I'm supporting the weight while LJS grabs the other end... and suddenly, I can smell it. The skunk. And so does the husband.

Too late to turn back, we make a silent, mutual agreement to hurry the heck up and get this thing off the truck and onto the ground, still not knowing where the skunk is, only that it's close enough to smell.

We drop the tv onto the driveway and I realize that I'm now trapped in between the tv, the car, and the boat... and the smell is getting stronger. LJS, after releasing his grip on the tv, has already hi-tailed it back to the house, and I just KNOW I'm going to get sprayed!

With the prowess of a monkey, I jumped over the boat hitch, and ran back to the house... in circles! I kept spinning around to make sure that rascal wasn't following me, with a glint in his eye.

An event to get the adrenaline going to be sure!