Tricky Toes and Yard Peeing

My daughter likes to perform little "tricks". Usually, the little tricks are either weird moves that she's been practicing or death defying feats that are not for the faint of heart to watch... like me. Going to the park is like mini practice for when I have a massive heart attack. My body is so used to the mini ones it will spring right back from anything big. I'm sure of it.

Anyway, on the 4th of July she had another little trick to show me.

"Hey Mom, can you tie your toes?"

"What?"

"Can you tie your toes?"

"Umm... no... my toes are big, but they are not long like shoelaces."

"No Mom, watch."

I proceed to look down at her feet as she expertly takes one toe and wraps it around another toe.

"See? Now you try."

I laugh, but reach down to try and place one of my toes on top of another toe realizing that she is already annoyed.

"No Mom, not like that. Like this."

She reaches down and yanks one of my toes up and sticks it over on top of the other one. No sooner does she let go than the toe rights itself and moves back to its normal resting place. I watch as her little brow furrows and struggle to hold back the giggles as she let's out a long exaggerated sigh, once again reaching down for my toes.

After about 10 tries, she finally comes to the conclusion that her mom's toes aren't tricky as I hobble off to grab a back of ice, praying nothing is dislocated.

Anyway, I managed to grab a picture of her tricky toes and thought I'd put it here.

Later that same day...


Hot on the heels of the macaroni and cheese incident, we had another social... I was going to say blunder, but I think catalcysmic catastrophe is better. Luckily, it was only LJS, myself, and Short Person there to... witness the event. (Although of course I blow the secrecy now by telling everyone about it, but hey... it's over now. LOL)

We're out playing with fireworks. Short Person is wearing a dress with no panties. I forget now why they disappeared, but I know I wasn't complaining too badly because she's in that phase where all the clothes come flying off whenever possible. The fact that she had a dress on was... great!

"I need to go potty, Mom."

"Okay, Hon' go in the house and go potty. Do you need me to come with you?"

"No, I need to go into the yard."

"Well... I thought you needed to go potty. You remember what Big Blue Bear says, right? He says "When you got to go, you need to go right away so you don't forget". Remember?"

"Yeah, Mom. I wanna go potty in the yard."

"What?"

"I need to go potty in the yard."

I think it may have been here, at this moment, when I shot my husband the 'if looks could kill' look. I'm not sure. I know my mind was going crazy with the need to scream "How could you teach her such a thing?!" but I didn't. I held back.

"Honey, we don't go potty in the yard. You need to go in the house and use the bathroom. I'll go with you. Let me put this stuff in the sink and I'll be right back."

I disappear for a few seconds into the house to put our bbq dishes in the sink and walk back out to retrieve Short Person, who is running with a toy across the yard. I look at LJS. "Hon', why is she playing. She needs to go potty."

"Oh, well she did."

"What?"

"She said she wanted to go potty in the yard... so, I let her."

OKAY PEOPLE!! Was my husband not right there. Not FIVE INCHES AWAY when I had the conversation with Short Person?

LOL... I think that had it not been dark you would have seen red actually creep up my body and flood my face and steam come out of my ears as I launched into the start of a beautiful tirade about social standards and OMG MY DAUGHTER PEE'D IN THE YARD!

But before I could quite get the words out I had a thought... find out who taught her first, and (cause I was so sure) then launch into the husband.

"Who taught you to pee in the yard?"

"I taught myself."

A new trick. Don't ya love tricks?

My husband was pretty pleased with the answer. I just shook my head. I don't think there was much more I could do at that point. LOL...