Her father is ready to lock her in the closet.
The crazy thing is that, she's apparently not the only one talking. He is too. All of his relatives knew Short Person as "his girlfriend". When it came time for him to open his gift from her there were comments of "Oh, is this the present from his girlfriend?" And, when he reacted as though he noticeably liked it, they all congratulated her on a job well done. His mom and I often joke or comment that given the school size, it is a strong likelihood that if they both stay in the same school until the teen years they might actually, conceivably, date.
For now, we'll just stick to birthday parties and writing things on cards like what is below this commentary. I handed her the card and a pen and asked her to sign it. She wrote the entire message herself.
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