20 Years Together - It Almost Doesn’t Seem Possible (lol)

Today, LJS and I celebrated 20 years together. With no sex. Why is it that fate always has to play little jokes like making sure that "that time of the month" will always land when you have something important planned?

Hotel sex -- that's almost a guaranteed day for it
Anniversary -- that goes without saying
The day new sex toys, movies, or aids arrive -- mmm... maybe not every day, but often enough.
Or, the only day of the month you managed to find someone to take the kid overnight.

Seriously, that's becoming an issue. Not that long ago she walked in on us as we were finishing.

"Hey, what are you doing to my mom?"

"Oh honey, mommy and daddy are just wrestling." As we're scrambling to straighten ourselves.

Short Person has almost perfected the hand on the hip, scowl look and she's giving it to us now. "Well, don't ever do that again, okay?"

It's funny how she tries to imitate my silent I-mean-business-bub stare and I respond with false promises to temporarily appease her.

But, as usual, I digress.

Twenty years together. That is now more than half my life. Somehow, I just don't feel that old.

We met when I was about a month away from 16. One of my good friends at the time lived two houses down from his cousin. Even though they were a lot older than we were (in high school 15 to his 18 seemed like millinea apart-- and his cousin was about 35, I think) we managed to be at the house quite frequently. It had something to do with the fact that LJS's cousin seemed to have an endless supply of weed and booze. (Shh... don't tell.)

One fateful night, Beth decided to throw a party. I was supposed to be there too, but LJS was staying at his cousin's. He was about three weeks away from leaving for the Air Force and I was spending the evening with him just listening to him talk. A rare thing if you know my husband.

I kept bouncing back and forth between the party and LJS, but the astonishing variation of drugs and booze made me a little nervous. I wasn't a novice, but breaking out Angel Dust was more than even I was prepared for, so I'd leave after checking in and making sure I put in an "appearance".

About 10 minutes after one such appearance, the cops arrived and people at the party scattered. Some hiding in the backyard of the house where LJS and I were, some running down the block. My friend, hopped up on something, decided to attempt to beat the crap out of a police officer and found herself hauled away in the back of a squad car.

Since I was supposed to be staying the night with her, and now had no way back into the house, LJS and I found ourselves together for the night... and the rest, they say, is history.

He never made it into the Air Force. I never got it out of him exactly what happened, but he decided after that night that the military wasn't what he wanted in life.

It's been an interesting 20 years, with many fun memories.

One day, when we'd been dating for a year or two, we decided to go up to Bald Peak Mountain. It's a make-out spot that overlooks the City below. There's a park, but most of it (at the time) was wooded area. We were going to try to have sex, but we could hear people not that far away and LJS thought they were actually hidden, watching us, so we left.

As we traveled down the curving hill, a cliff on one-side with jutting rocks, and a 100-foot sheer drop on the other, LJS and I were talking about something. I don't remember what, but the exact words out of his mouth were, "Yeah, I'd hate to have to tell your parents that I'd killed you going down a hill."

The truck, at the precise moment that the last word was spoken, hit a slick spot on the road. LJS lost control for a moment, did a 180 turn, and stopped... mere inches from the rock wall. We'd been going about 50mph.

My senior year of high school, as a graduation gift, LJS took me to Rockaway Beach. It's a cute, small little town with little shops and restaurants, and a great expanse of beach.

We were sitting on the beach in a place where the wind had pushed the sand up so that it made a steep hill that angled down toward the ocean. It was a beautiful day, and as we sat watching the ocean waves roll in, we decided to make love. As we lay in the sand, there was only us, hidden by mountains of sand.

It was when we sat up that we turned around and noticed all the two and three story houses about a block and a half away... all with a perfect view. Of us.

There are the usual memories after that. My graduation from high school and business school. Going to purchase my new car. Our wedding. Our honeymoon. And, purchasing our first house. This house.

We closed right before Christmas and were in a rush to get things done. I mentioned in an earlier post that there was a lot we needed to do since the previous owners had not been kind to the walls and doors. While we were painting what is now my office, we needed to pull out a huge, five inch nail from the wall above the window. The thing was massive and was driven into one of the studs. It was a bitch to get out.

LJS had the hammer and was wrenching it out with the nail remover end as I watched him bash a hole into the wall with the other end. When the nail finally came loose, he looked back at me to find out why I was literally rolling on the floor laughing hysterically. All I could do was point.

Once we moved in, he wanted to put cable in the garage, but couldn't get the picture to come in clearly. He kept getting more and more angry and irrational about the situation, so I decided to leave early for work. I climbed in my car, turned the key in the ignition, and looked up to see him standing there with white fuzzies all over his head.

He'd fallen through the ceiling, landing perfectly between the recliner, the stereo, and the coffee table.

The house memories are the strongest right now because my house, once again, is torn apart. I keep waiting to see what the next funniest memory is going to be in that department. When it arrives, believe me, you'll be the first to know about it.

And it will be one more page in the history book as we head toward 21 years together.