Utterly and Absolutely Ridiculous!

Lose your car? You've got LoJack

Lose your dog? Embedded chip

Lose you cell phone? Ah hell, don't worry, we'll just dial up the GPS locator.

Lose your kid? You've got the power of prayer. (I'm not mocking that, btw. I believe in that way too much. But I am using it to emphasize a point.)

I have been on a very frustrating search to find a GPS locator for Short Person. Something small. Something so totally insignificant that no one would know it was there. That added piece of "Just in case".

I wanted it to be small like a microchip. Something that I could glue onto the back of an identification bracelet or necklace. Something that doesn't shout "Rip my arm off! They are tracking you."

Nothing. I can find nothing.

I can't believe, that in this world of kidnappers, pedophiles, murderers, and stupidity that they haven't invented something like this. Instead, they've been working on political hot buttons like embedding a chip into a person.

Don't get me wrong, they do have things you can get to track your children, such as the Wherify bracelet. It's a monstrous watch that locks onto your child's arm. It costs a minimum of $20.00 a month, plus the $200-$300 for the device itself AND the battery lasts all of 60 hours.

60 hours.

Granted that should be plenty of time for you to plug into a computer should your child go missing, but if you've owned anything that has anything to do with a rechargable battery, you know that 3 is the charm. You have to let the battery die 3 times, recharge fully, and only then can you plug it in for limited hours and "fool" the battery. Most people don't know that, which is why their batteries get a shorter and shorter life. Plus, it just happens naturally. Batteries wear down.

But also, I don't need a monthly plan. I'm not looking to track her every movement. I just want something that I can activate if she's suddenly gone. Plus, I don't like the "get rich" scheme. Pay $20 per month for 18 years. Chances are that nothing will happen, but someone somewhere is making money off of preventative strategy.

It would be a lot cheaper if the government funded devices such as these. Hours and hours are put into searching, investigating, and locating missing people... and then God-forbid, identifying them. Give new parents a gift of an id bracelet. You can catch the guy red-handed, save yourself some work, and slam dunk the guy in jail. That is, if the parent doesn't kill the perp first. I know I would.

There are cell phones, big battery packs, chips you can embed... but all have their flaws. Cell phones aren't going to make it very far, unless you've taught your child the best of the best hiding places and they know how to silence the ringer. Big battery packs with GPS locaters are too hard for a toddler to carry. Chips you embed only have limited range tracking, and are only useful if you find the child later. By then, all it's good for is identifying your child.

They make a little device to snap onto the back of your toddler too. If they wander away from you, you can push a button on a remote and a little beep will sound. Sort of like if you can't find the cordless phone. But it doesn't track. It's perfect, if only it had the GPS.

I know they exist! Those small little microchip devices, I know they are out there. WHY are they not available to the public... or why can't I find them?

One mistake. I forget to lock the screen door while I'm doing dishes, or forget to close her window at night, or she's playing with friends, or I turn my back for a second... there HAS to be something!

But the fact that there isn't, or that it's not easy to find, or that it's so outrageous... it's all utterly fucking ridiculous!