An Evening at the Grocery Store

This always happens to me. The short person and I will go shopping and she will beg me for the big cart that looks like a race car. I will get this monstrosity for her to ride in, this thing that drives worse than a gurney and then... her daddy will pick her up and take her home while I finish the shopping. Driving every child's favorite cart. So, in the end, I just look to every child like the mean grown up that took their favorite ride away, and to every parent like the crazy lady that never grew up.

Man, I suck.

Also, I am at a total loss of an explanation of how you can have fat-free whipping cream. I mean, HELLO! What in the heck do you think gets whipped? I've tried whipping water... trust me, it doesn't work. So, how do you take the fat out? And when you do, and you've lost all that flavor, what's the point?

This is almost as bad as going into the meat section. There you see it, that wonderfully discounted piece of prime sausage. You go to check the expiration date. Do you have one day, or two, before it needs to be eaten? No expiration date.

You're thinking Woo-Hoo, I just saved 50 cents on sausage. You put it in your refrigerator with wild dreams about eating this wonderful cuisine when the mood strikes. Finally, the day arrives and you know just what you're going to make.

With mouth watering intent you put it in the pan and smell the delicious odor that only sausage can provide. Then finally, it's done. You bite into it, your mouth watering, until you are completely satisfied. And then...

YOU DIE!!!

Because the bone heads at the supermarket put the discount price tag over the expiration date... which just happened to be two weeks before you ate it! For a 50 cent savings, you just ate your last meal babe.

People are idiots.